I love watching beauty pageants both live and televised [the delayed telecast]. I had watched and had even been invited to host a couple of these since I was in college. I had witnessed a number of school beauty pageants since I was in my primary and had been luckier to host some during my college years. I’d been invited in some community organized beauty search to serve as a pageant host or juror. The experience (as a juror/pageant host) was demanding and a lovely experience at the same time.
I love watching beautiful people flaunting the best of themselves… I have seen gorgeous gentlemen and ladies parading their stunning physique, transvestite (or presumably transsexual) gays surfacing out their most feminine auras as some [unluckily speaking] managed to strenuously hide the bulging stuff down under, and of course I couldn’t miss mentioning princely hunks assuming the shoes of gay beauconeras! There is indeed a sundry of options for one to make himself/herself amazed or worst cheesed off of what is going on nowadays for the sake of grabbing a pageant title (and the pot money at stake, if there is any)!
But what makes a pageant really very intriguing?
Basing on my personal experience, hereunder are some of the criteria that could tag an event as an ultimate beauty pageant or its opposite:
1. The presence of a vivacious host who wears a crown as if she’ll be the one to turn over the title…
2. A feeling hot male host who pronounces ‘ladies’ as ‘leedees’ and ‘watching’ as ‘washing’ – as in “her hobby is washing tv, blah blah blah…”
3. An out-of-this-planet contestant who is obviously aiming to grab the “Darling of the Crowd” minor award!
4. A contestant who eats and blows fire out of his/her mouth towards the jurors! Fiery talent showcase…
5. A contestant who is confused of the event he/she participated in… extemporaneous speaking seems to be his/her forte! Prolonged answer/senate-like privilege speech…
6. Recurrent dead air…
7. A protesting pageant candidate who ranked eleventh in the over-all tally sheet and insists that she should be in the top10!
8. Premature audience who boo’s and yells ceaselessly over over-kill pakyut or weird-looking pageant candidates…
9. A wannabee juror who stammers while speaking out his grammatically erroneous lengthy question.
10. Another juror who views the Q&A portion as a quiz bee!
And speaking of questions, who could forget the ones asked during a gay beauty pageant my sisters and I attended just recently. (We didn’t join of course, we watched!) Some of the questions are found below. If you’re braver enough to answer at least one, please do so… Share your thoughts as a comment just below this post.
1. How can you make this planet a safer place despite the threats of global warming?
2. What do you think is the best gift you could give to your dearly loved ones this Christmas?
3. If you were given a chance to turn back the handle of time, what greatest mistakes will you change in your past and why?
4. Explain this line: “Darkness intensifies the amount of danger”.
5. If you were a legislator, what law must you sponsor to favor the advancement of the rights of homosexuals?
6. If you were to make a slogan that will promote tourism in the country, what would it be?
7. If you were a computer virus that could reprogram the mind of an important person in our society, who would that person be and what impact should you influence on him/her? Why?
8. If you were given a chance to talk with the Pope about an issue regarding homosexuality, what issue would you bring up before him and why?
9. Given a chance, what would you choose your lover or your crown?
10. When a man from the moon lands in your hometown, what would you do to entertain him?
11. If you were to describe color blue to a blind man, how would you do it?
12. What is it that you would like to change in our world?
13. What bothers you most about what is happening in our country today and why?
14. If you could only bring on thing on a desert island, what would it be and why?
15. Given a chance that you’ll only have six months to survive on Earth, what would you do to make your life more meaningful?
16. If you’ll die tomorrow, why not hasten it today?!
The last one is a prank of course!